Healing your Painful stories
As Human Beings we are master storytellers! We have been telling stories since the dawn of civilization - sharing our own or listening to each others!
It's through storytelling, that we keep track of all the overwhelming amount of things that happen to us in our lifetime.
It's how we make sense of the world around us and give meaning to the things that are important to us.
It's how we build our identity and begin to feel secure that we have 'know who we are'.
Our stories give coherence to our lives - without them, the human experience would feel very disjointed and confusing!
And importantly stories are how we predict the future! Since each story follows a trajectory we can make an educated guess as to how the story will end and that gives us an amazing sense of comfort and security!
Storytelling is a massive part of the human experience!!
When I look back in time at the stories I tell of how I met my husband, how my children were born, or how I came to live in the city I love so much they all fill me with so much warmth and joy - and I am sure that you have those types of stories too!
And as I think about the stories that I am currently living I can see how they help me feel comfortable in my future as they give me the opportunity to predict what will happen in the come years!
"Because I am this type of person doing this type of thing my future will be full of (fill in the blank)"
I am sure you have those current stories too!
But what about those stories that we carry around that are not so beneficial?
Those stories that keep us connected to our pain, and our limiting beliefs?
Is there something we can do when we feel burdened down by stories that harm us instead of help us?
Yes! There is!!
(Don't worry girlfriend I won't leave you hanging!!)
The good news is that our stories are malleable - they are not set in stone!
The facts of our stories may be - but the way we tell our stores are not.
Some of us have been telling ourselves the same stories for so long that we no longer recognize that our stories are embused with opinion, assumptions, and gaps. We think our stories are fact - but they're not!
And that is really really good news!!
If you have a story that is painful or that limits you that story is not written in ink - it can be rewritten - and even making small story edits can have a huge impact and change the way you feel, what you think is possible and the direction that you are headed!
But before we jump into how to do that let's talk about how a story gets created in the first place!
A story starts in such a simple way...it starts with a feeling.
Something happens in our lives and it causes us to respond with a feeling and we could just let it pass over us (since FYI most feelings don't last more than 20 to 30 seconds) but instead of doing that we do something that starts us on the path of storytelling.
As soon as we have a feeling we attach a thought to it - which then almost immediately we begin to justify, analyze, or rationalize, and so the storytelling begins!
And before you know it we have these elaborate stories that may or may not be the best representation of the facts.
And I don't know about you but I have definitely found myself all wrapped up in a story that has trapped me in a life I didn't want!
Thankfully we can break those stories down and rewrite them in a way that doesn't deny the facts or the pain, but still opens us up to love, healing and a possibility!
Becoming Aware Of Your Story:
Sometimes we have a story that is controlling us but we don't really have a clear picture of what that story is because we tell it in bits and pieces or because the story was formed so long ago that we are no longer fully aware of it. So becoming clear on exactly what our story is, is an important first step!
Finding The Facts In Your Story:
It's important to remember that our stories are normally full of assumptions, gaps and opinions. Removing them from the story and taking a look at just the bare naked facts can be both eye-opening and give you some room to breathe and sets the stage for looking at the story in a new way.
Understanding Your Story:
What are some facts that your story has been missing? What parts of the circumstances do you need to learn more about? If you take the time to question some of your assumptions what else could be true? What do you see if you look at your story from the perspective of the other people involved? From the perspective of people who love and care for you?
Learning From Your Story:
Our experiences in life are opportunities to grow into our higher selves. With this focus asked yourself what has this story taught you? How have you grown because of this story? In what ways are you a better person because of this experience? What can you feel gratitude for? On this flip side, how has this story limited you in ways you refuse to accept anymore?
Transforming Your Story:
Knowing that you are in control of the story you tell what is your new story now? What wisdom does this new story bring into your life? How can you now contribute to the world in a way that you felt incapable of before? What actions does this new story open up for me? What new ending can you anticipate because of this new story?
Our stories can be our greatest gifts and they can be the legacy that we pass on to the world of what humanity is capable of - enjoy writing your story, I can't wait to hear it!!